It has taken me one year and three-dozen attempts to begin this blog you want to set the tone and capture an audience (though at present time I doubt I have even one.) I have had several blogs in the past relating to travel and random thoughts that flow through my head, but those never had anywhere near the amount of emotional investment as this blog will.
I am writing about relationships*. My relationships. Of course, the focus is in the realm of romance (the good, the funny and the occasional ugly) with tales from my family and friends sprinkled throughout. To try and explain how I came to the point of where I am today would take a books-worth of back-story. So in an attempt to keep it simple it would be best to just write about where I am today and eventually fill in the blanks in the future. Here it goes:
I am in a position of having to choose between two men.
The first one I met in high school during a summer abroad and he is the definition of a gentleman, sweet, smart, driven and makes me laugh. It is a traditional courtship and I have eaten every moment up.
The second is my best friend; he is everything I would never have dreamt of wanting in a companion, but he loves me, and doesn’t need to understand me to do so. Our relationship is unconventional and at times seems to have come straight out of a Bonnie Raitt song.
They are two of the greatest guys around and any girl would be lucky to have them, and I am terrified knowing that there are three hearts on the line for breaking. The people I go to for advice are being kept out of the loop and so the feelings in this uncharted territory are bottled up. And oddly enough I turn to the internet to ‘figure’ things out, maybe someone will happen upon this on an idle afternoon in Cape Town or Jonesboro and who knows… I am not sure what I hope to get out of this blog. Maybe it’s nothing, maybe it’s something or it may just be selfish (I’m hoping it’s not the last one).
If you’re still there reading… Domo arigato.
-M
*Note: The following tidbits of information are random and good to know (plus I didn’t know where else to put it in the entry.) I’m a dot Indian; my parents were born and raised in the motherland before coming to the states in the 70s. I’m the oldest of two, and though by Indian standards my parents are ‘liberal’, there is still a sense of traditionalism with them… it’s a battle I’ve been dealing with since I exited the womb. I hate mosquitoes and finger prick tests. I get restless if I’m in one place for too long, order dessert first and have to wear socks to bed (even in the summer.)
(A (fortuitous?) idle afternoon's unsolicited verbose, response)
ReplyDeleteHow time can fly, while certain parts of our lives stand seemingly stagnate without a satisfying why? Sometimes shortness of breath, or a tear may form as you reflect, though sorrow is not my only mistress. There was a time before when the stars seemed as if I could touch them. These reflections bring joy like a mattress of sweet meadow grasses on which I can gaze at the stars, or watch trees on a tower of fire from afar. Foolishly I remained an observer at bay, as the light that grew to shine in my life drifted away. Passed time is just that, though some snippets survive through pictures and memory's, bringing smiles and lament, for the many months misspent. Though the clock lens has sullied, and good sense says my false step was a finish, I still dare ask to clean the watch to see what time is held within it?